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As a part of my Druidry 101 course last night I participated in several meditation exercises (which I plan to use in my DP practice/documentation). One of these was the controlled-breath. A breath is inhaled for a count of 4, held (by holding the diaphragm, not locking the throat) for a count of 2, exhaled for a count of 4, held for a count of two, and then repeated for as long as is wanted. While I was doing it I felt like continuing forever and actually felt a little resentful when we had to move on to the next exercise. Itapos;s hard to believe that something so simple can be so satisfying
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So I think I may have to take yet MORE classes to apply to vet schools if I donapos;t get in this time.

If I have to take TWO classes in the sociological and behavioral science department, which would be the easiest? Least boring? I can take classes in the areas of psychology, sociology, cultural anthropology, political science, or economics.

Iapos;m kind of assuming that cultural anthropology would be lots of boring memorization but in general fairly easy, but am I wrong? Would economics be easier? Meh. I donapos;t know...

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earth sun and the moon

I started to ache when I started to think of you.
Wondering how long it would take before I step into something new.
Thereapos;s so much I can fake.
Thereapos;s only so much that I can prove.
Well, do it in a minute,
I could go play the fool for you.

Lights, camera, action.
I think Iapos;m going for it this time.
Thereapos;s something you should listen to.
Could I take you for a car ride?
This is the soundtrack for our movie.
Would you tell me when we get to the best part?
Iapos;ll play it for you.
Oh no, I think Iapos;ve lost this one.
Can we try again?

Well Iapos;m a wreck.
I really canapos;t explain it but I,
I hear the music when I look at you.
Orchestrating the song to accommodate the moment.
Well, Iapos;m so in love with you.

Are you looking for an answer?
Because I could really use a friend tonight.
We can make this last forever.
We donapos;t have to fear the sunlight.

Well Iapos;m a wreck.
I really canapos;t explain it but I,
I hear the music when I look at you.
Orchestrating the song to accommodate the moment.
Well, Iapos;m so in love with...

Iapos;ll take a chance and steal away this movie moment.
Well, Iapos;m in deep whenever Iapos;m with you.
Iapos;m directing the scene that has you and me forever.
Well, Iapos;m so in love with...
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Iapos;m sorry but nowadays when I got an urge to blog. It really means that I got hell lots of thoughts in my mind.

I just realise that the kind of lifestyle that I truly want. I am not exactly working towards it. I�hate the fact that its actually laziness that is obstructing me from having the kind of lifestyle that I want. I�always dream and dream and dream. What for dream when I know very well that I can easily lead the kind of lifestyle that I�want.

Luxury. Labels. 5cs?

Ok, it may seems very materialistic. But I donapos;t see it this way. I see it as enjoying life. I�only have one life, I�want to make the best out of it. I� actually loathe it when people comment that Iapos;m actually very materialistic. They donapos;t dare to dream. Doesnapos;t have big dream. Is just satisfied with just that minimum wages that they are earning. You donapos;t have to correct me. Cause I know that what I had just said is not completely true. I understand that to some people, that is actually already life. BUT�do they have to condemn us for having bigger dreams than theirs? Everyone has got different dreams and goals. Why must they make it a point to me that my dreams doesnapos;t sound right? Why must they keep correcting my mindset?

I think that my dreams are just fine. Just a little bit bolder. A little bit more difficult to achieve. So donapos;t try to talk me out of it. Thank you.

Now to love. Angmohs?�Rich? Handsome?

Whats your kind? I think 9 out of 10 women would love to have a rich handsome boyfriends/husbands. Why is that so? Because we will feel secure financially? I donapos;t like the feeling of having to worry about whether we got enough cash to do the things that we want to do. Ok, maybe is just that I love the feeling of being dote and someone splurging on me. Seriously, who doesnapos;t love to be loved?

Lets see what you got to say.

Shaoling is not that faithful after all. She only goes for looks and wealth. You may say that I go for looks and wealth but hey, thats just the surface. I do go for character and truly believe in love. Once I fall in love, I guess it will be forever. So donapos;t judge. Looks and wealth is just one out of many factors that I look into.

I think its perfectly ok to go gaga over handsome guys. Especially when girls get together they talk about guys guys and guys. I mean at this age you donapos;t talk about economy and jobs and bosses and collegues right? And sometimes for couples, guys have to blame themselves for not being that handsome and thus leading your girlfriend to comment that whoever is sooo handsome. Sometimes, let down your ego and agree with your girlfriend that that guy is really that handsome. Your girl will be surprise man. Sometimes, too much ego is not good.

I hate guys who misled girls and make us have the wrong feeling. Sometimes this guy will treat you so god damn good and worse still you have good feelings towards him. And after checking that you actually develop feelings for him already he say that he only treat you as a sister. You have no idea how bad this is to a girl. Worse still, if you laugh it off and say that the girl is crazy. The poor girl has to pretend that nothing happen and still be friend with you and thinking that she was suppose to be your girlfriend. Ok, I hate one sided love. BUT SOMETIMES ITS THE GUY WHO LEAD TO THIS. Maybe girls too. Ha.

Actually, I do dream of having a rich angmoh boyfriend and live happily ever after. However, lifes such a bitch. Reality hits you real hard. You just fall in love with the wrong guy and thats when everything goes wrong. We should all fall in love with the wrong person only then you will learn that there is no such thing as happily ever after. No such thing as fairytale.

Grow up, you are no longer that young girl who needs your papa to read you fairytale before you tuck in.

Actually I hope that Iapos;m married now with kids. I like to see how happy my sister is with her big belly. I love to see how my brother-in-law actually treats her like goddess. I am glad to see that she is about to have a happy family.

I wish I wish I wish.
So everything is actually interlink.

I still want the best of both worlds. Inside me, I still got one little wish. I am about to�create my own fairytale.

See, life is sucha bitch. Its so contradicting.



this post is actually pointless. Dont bother reading. Imjustlazytostartmyreportthatswhyimwritingthispointlesspost.

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Hello everyone,

I live in Minnesota and am in need of a stylish but also functional/warm winter coat for the rapidly approaching winter season. I am looking for something with a pea coat style and possibly a hood. I found one for about $120 on Overstock, but I wanted to see if anyone had any other ideas. I would prefer black or dark grey and something that is about mid length between hip and knee--Iapos;m about 5apos;3.

Thanks

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Despite the difficulty of keeping an active blog, you know, one with a lot of sense (because I donapos;t allow myself to show anything else but anger and joy in the first blog), I decided that I should create another blog -- this one -- with the main purpose of having the ability to let out a couple of things that I donapos;t really discuss in real life. Blame it on my fatherapos;s genes that I donapos;t like discussing emotional matters, I guess, but then the difference between me and him is that once in a while I see the need to let it all out -- hence this blog. Another main reason I made this blog was so that no one or at least only a few people can read my emotional turmoils, ones I donapos;t like sharing at all, because I donapos;t like people seeing who I am through my momentary emotions. And despite the time now and my 9AM class tomorrow, this has been boiling underneath the surface and maybe, just maybe, right now is the time to take off the cover and let the steam escape. Forgive me for being so emotional but I promise you when I say this will be shorter than this first paragraph. After all, who wants to read a depressing blog right?


They say change, for the most part, brings good things. Thatapos;s only for the most part and for the past few, I donapos;t know, probably months already, Iapos;ve always felt like I was being left behind. Kaya nga napagiiwanan ang title. Iapos;m not naming names or what these people have done (they are a lot and not that theyapos;ve done anything to offend me) but itapos;s because of this thing called change that has got me feeling this way. Change changed them, and these changed people are close to me. Itapos;s like, sometimes, it gets awkward to hang out or talk to them. Itapos;s like Iapos;m just getting to know them. Change made them into new people, picking up new habits, being besides themselves.


Too much, I say.�Or is it, that change hasnapos;t found me yet?


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Halloween is coming fast, and Iapos;m�fast�approaching the stress point.� We are busy trying to get ready for our Halloween party (one week from today) for my two youngest boys.� They are eight and eleven.� Each year for the party we have a Haunted Walk in our back woods, and it has gotten bigger each year.��

This yearapos;s�basic story will involve an individual who has been cursed (hiccups, canapos;t stop laughing, or something like that) and the kids will have to go to the woods to search out Helga the witch for a cure.� Once found, she will direct them to various locations to gather the "ingredients" for the potion.� Some of the scenes include, the mad scientist (set up in an old shed), Hangmanapos;s Tree, The Dungeon (basement of the barn), Helgaapos;s garden, The Candy Man.

This year we are changing our dungeon (from last year) to a draculaapos;s lair.� That means I have a coffin to build, and I havenapos;t even started that yet.� Some of the stuff from the dungeon will be re-used.� For the garden scene I still need to create a scarecrow, set up fence, etc.
I have some of the stuff accumulated for the Mad Scientist from previous years, but I still need to setup his laboratory...� And, of course, costumes for all of our live characters.

Since it is at night, lights must be installed at all the scenes and at various points along the path.� I have most of this done.�

Oh yes, the kids must also be weary�of a number of�unexpected scares such as the giant spider dropping down upon them, live characters dressed as dummies (you can never tell what is real and what is not).

And all this for about 45 minutes of fun�� The last few years we have had two parties, but this is the first year my daughter (16) has not had one after nine years straight.� So, we only have the one party this year.� My daughter will be playing one of the characters (the cursed manapos;s daughter), and will be with the kids during their adventure.� I will be playing the part of Helga (the witch) once again.� My two older boys will be the Hangman and�the Gardener in Helgaapos;s garden.� My sister-in-lawapos;s boyfriend will be playing The Vampire.� I believe my wife is going to be the Mad Scientist.

Yikes,�itapos;s going to be a busy, busy weekend

Donapos;t forget to stock up on candy - Halloween is only two weeks away
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